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Contains: Strong language, overthinking and occasionally explicit writing

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Smelling like Greek aristocracy – temperature play

Posted on 7. Mai 202312. April 2023 by Barksandscales

Is there anything more romantic than an increasingly escalating massage that at some point is no longer a massage? Most likely, especially since people have the ability to eroticize anything, even everyday scenes in which they would be naked in a non-cinema or porn context. I still wanted to indulge something more hedonistic and try…

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A bad copy of a book review: Hello, Cruel World […] by Kate Bornstein

Posted on 23. April 20239. April 2023 by Barksandscales

Quick side note: Hello, Cruel World – 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks & other Outlaws deals with some heavy topics, if you don’t feel like reading about something like that today just skip this post…

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Kinky and dead, now what?

Posted on 9. April 20239. April 2023 by Barksandscales

Quick warning: I’ve tried to keep the gore to a minimum, however dying isn’t a happy topic nor a pretty process. If you have a problem with reading about funerals, cremation, dead bodys and vague description of decomposition no problem, this post is then simply not for you. There will be another topic in a fortnight.

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The rabbit hole of Strap on Sex 

Posted on 26. März 202325. Februar 2023 by Barksandscales

Let me start the reflection with a rant. I had very little to do with Strap On Sex up to this point. It was one of those things that was shouted across the schoolyard when certain boys felt they had to prove themselves to everyone. The consequences were either eye-rolling or detention, depending on who…

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Dysphoria has changed?

Posted on 12. März 20238. Januar 2023 by Barksandscales

I don’t know exactly when it happened, but sometime this year my dysphoria changed. The desire for physical change multiplied many times over. Why? I don’t know.  Maybe it was July, when I traded my decades-long asexuality for a demisexuality and discovered my libido. Or maybe it was the day all my friends partied at…

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„When did you know?!“

Posted on 26. Februar 202312. Februar 2023 by Barksandscales

„When did you realise that you were trans?“ is a question that I personally haven’t been asked very often, but it’s one that the media likes to throw around every now and then. On the one hand, I can understand the curiosity of cis-people, on the other hand, I have always had to sigh when…

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Doing kinky or being kinky? – In musing mood

Posted on 12. Februar 202312. Februar 2023 by Barksandscales

Somewhen last week I figured that my relationship to kink is different than from my relationship to gender or sexuality. I would consider myself as trans and very demisexual, if I had to put it into words I would say “I am trans” and “I am demisexual”. With kink it is different… Instead of „being…

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Labels – Many don’t help much

Posted on 29. Januar 202331. Januar 2023 by Barksandscales

“Honey, it’s called a switch”, he answered as soon as I finished my lamentation about feeling lost while being wrapped into his bed sheets. My raised eyebrow, however, made him quickly correct himself. „Of course, it is much more complex.”, he finished. Pleased with his own rescue manoeuvre I moved on; the thoughts stayed. For…

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What I like about kink and what I am looking for in it – More rambling

Posted on 15. Januar 202331. Januar 2023 by Barksandscales

Last time I presented one possibility to figure out what things I chose from the list and why… now I will just deepen the topic, because I had a lot more thoughts about it… But before we dive into that, I figured it would be a good idea to clarify what I like about BDSM…

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How to figure out (my) kinks – The first attempt

Posted on 4. Januar 202331. Januar 2023 by Barksandscales

The earliest encounter with the BDSM community that I can remember was my first CSD. I was somewhere between seven and twelve years old, and my mother and I were standing in one of the city centre drugstores that weekend. Outside, a sea of colours, people, glitter and noise was raging; inside me, the first…

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  • Review time: Why Are People Into That? A Cultural Investigation of Kink by Tina Horn
  • How I Became an Anal Slut
  • Time to let the dog out of the bag… and onto the bed
  • The emotional side of transitioning
  • The physicalities of transitioning

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