Is there anything more romantic than an increasingly escalating massage that at some point is no longer a massage? Most likely, especially since people have the ability to eroticize anything, even everyday scenes in which they would be naked in a non-cinema or porn context. I still wanted to indulge something more hedonistic and try out mild masochism.
What did we need?
Massage Candle, Ice cubes, lots of towels, matches, we didn’t have one of those mini fire extinguishers which I would like to have in the future just because: safety first.
What did we go for?
Wanted to go for an indulging feeling. I got the massage and I would enjoy it as such.
What did we do before?
Even though my significant other and I have some paraffin-soy candles, I wanted to try an even lighter version for the massage. Which for me meant taking a whole range of possible options off the shop shelf and putting them back again, because a good 99 % of massage candles, much like scented candles, don’t smell, but rather give me instant headaches.
We didn’t negotiate much beforehand since it was much more of a trying out and go with the flow than an actual scene with intricate power exchanges. The only thing we talked about was which body parts and limbs were allowed to come into contact with the wax and ice cubes and which were not (for now).
We did it!
Although my partner and I assured each other at least three times beforehand that we could stop at any time if something wasn’t right (anymore) or adjust things at any time, I was still nervous. I had always had the habit of playing with the still warm wax of blown-out candles as a small child, but to what extent it would be the same, I could not judge.
Turns out, it is absolutely not the same and I was glad that I went for the massage candle because the first drop felt well, hot. It was a similar feeling as when I used to stand under the pleasantly warm shower and suddenly someone in the kitchen turned on the tap… and that was the interesting part, after a few times of changing between candle and ice cubes I wasn’t able anymore to tell the difference. It was a burning sensation either way.
Apparently, my significant other did go for patterns, just to give me an idea what was to come, which was really nice of him… Unfortunately, I was too busy with breathing and didn’t get that at all. Nonetheless, we went for a round two, which was a step up in every way: Heat, cold and the body parts that were targeted. I would never have guessed in my life that getting fucked with ice cubes is a turn on for me… especially since I am more of a “heat person” temperature wise. How long did it take us in total? No idea… it is odd how your perception of time changes, when you are in some kind of scene.
Thoughts about…
For me the most interesting part was to get an idea of the concept „This is really bad, but actually I don’t want to stop here yet. How do we cope now?“ The best solution my brain came up with was the box breathing methods, which worked just fine. In fact, it worked so well that my partner asked about it in between because I had apparently become very quiet. I didn’t get any more talkative in round two either, except for occasional hand signals. Too few for him, for me they were already a big challenge. Focusing on breathing can be really exhausting. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I was actually in subspace. It felt more like getting tattooed while gritting one’s teeth because nobody wants to hear six hours of whining.
Another part that stuck with me (in hindsight) was that oil and cold water are fluid, so they tend to develop a life of their own… by which I mean they move due to gravity and my stomach just doesn’t like huge temperature differences. Unlike my genitals, how the hell am I supposed to explain that to others? – „I enjoy being fucked with ice cubes…“, probably that would be the best way, as it’s very straightforward. Maybe I could use more polite words, but apart from that.
Which I enjoyed more than I actually wanted to admit. Why? As someone who tends to dislike aristocrats and old nobility, it’s hard not to feel the same way when the scent you’re rubbed with is called „A Trip to Athens“. Greek baths simply have a certain aesthetic and since I am a person who functions mainly through aesthetics….
The final round-up:
All in all, a good start for light masochism, especially if you might not be the biggest fan of impact play. Or the latter is not possible for professional reasons, due to possible markings. What you should really pay attention to, however, is that you don’t have any contact allergies to any ingredients. I don’t know of any massage candles that are „anti-allergenic“ and I know several people for whom that is already a criterion for exclusion.
Regardless of this, my personal suggestion for improvement to myself would be to work more on non-verbal communication. So far I had not needed it, but I already realise that it would be practical for the future to have this skill.